Men are responsible for what happens to them

THE FULL TEXT OF THE BOOK MAN OVERBOARD IS AVAILABLE FREE ON THE FIRST POST OF THIS BLOG (SEPTEMBER 2005)

Alan Barron's book Responsible Manhood was released recently. This is Part 2 of his critique of Man Overboard, with my commentary.

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Alan continues: "Many marriages would be saved, in my view, if women were better educated to see motherhood as a rewarding vocation in its own right and also how to meet the physical needs of their husbands. [My comment: Enrolments in such training might be hard to come by.]

"I saw a debate on television not so long ago that asked why men from countries like Australia, the US and some European countries were sourcing brides from Asia. When asked by the female presenter why they were going to Asian countries to source a bride, many men admitted˜albeit somewhat sheepishly˜they wanted a woman who came from a family friendly culture where a wife was happy to be a predominately full-time homemaker. The female adjudicator quipped the men were after "compliant women", women who had the 'old-fashioned view' that 'marriage was all about pleasing the man.' The savagery of her remarks sent some of the poor blokes into a swift retreat. But such remarks parody, or caricature, a male perspective. Implied in the question was these men were looking for a 'doormat' for a wife. While the men admitted they did not like the strident attitude of Western women, who virtually demanded marriage on their terms, it was just that Western women had high expectations of men both in terms of material success and intimacy demands." [My comment: That is, they were looking for doormats.]
"These men simply did not want a high maintenance spouse. What they were seeking were domestically inclined and familial women." [My comment:In other words, they want a low-maintenance spouse. But Alan, every spouse is high maintenance in a love relationship between equals.]
"The expectations placed on men are simply ridiculous. They are expected to have the perfect manicured, clean shaven and waved body and be something of a sexual athlete with tremendous staying power in bed. On top of this they are expected to be the most generous, romantic and considerate dating partner. [My comment: There's not much demand for men who are the opposite, and little wonder.]
Alan continues: "Thus the Biblical order has been reversed. Men exist to fulfil the needs of women. For men today sex is a minefield and beset with confusing norms and expectations. This is why I think internet pornography has become so popular - apart from it being so widely available and easy to access. It does in a perverse way make men feel as if they are back in control of the dating game by offering them a vast array of attractive women who are there to fulfil their every sexual desire, free from any sense of commitment and responsibility." [My comment: Most pornography appeals to this adolescent fantasy because the males who consume it suffer from arrested development. A fully mature male does not need pornography as a substitute for a healthy sexual relationship.]

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There are many men who will find great solace in Alan's position. Unfortunately they are doomed to wander the face of the earth in a fruitless search for love because it's no longer 1952. Even mail order brides eventually rebel. Men with the attitudes Alan describes don't know what love is. They want to reproduce the emotional state of the baby - centre of attention, showered with unconditional love by a doting mommy, all their needs met without effort.
If you are such a male, it's time to grow up. You'll have nothing but futile pain until you discover that women are not the enemy. They are truly the weaker sex when it comes to romance. They can't resist it. I recommend you read Dale Carnegie's classic How To Win Friends and Influence as a start. It will point you in the right direction... Don't read my book. You'll be offended. I believe women are right when it comes to love.