Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Who said women are more sensitive?

It’s a myth. Women can be as insensitive and insulting as any idiot male can be. I have lost count of the number of times men have said to me: “I’d be crucified if I said to her some of the things she says to me.”
Special ways a woman can be insulting: They ask you if you have done something that you agreed to do, the implication being that you are a naughty boy who doesn’t do what he’s told. Or they complain if you haven’t observed their timetable for getting a task done. Or they repeat their instructions as you walk out the door, like they are speaking to a child. And they wonder why you start to act like a child. And they wonder why you become sullen and withdrawn after a few of these barbs. Then it’s your fault – you have retreated into your den.
The reason: their lack faith in you. You’ve let them down in the past. That doesn’t make it OK for them to be insulting and insensitive. It simply helps the victim understand the perpetrator. (Now there’s a change. Aren’t women always the victim? No, Virginia. Sometimes they contribute 50% of all the negative elements of any relationship. Not sometimes, but all the time. Society has just convinced them that the world is flat and men are always in the wrong. It’s a belief as misguided as the old 19th century idea that the man was always to be deferred to. Don’t expect a modern woman to believe that. In the words of one wise man I spoke to recently, “Whether he’s right or wrong, he’s wrong anyway.” Surrender to it. One day Justice might be done. One day you might stop feeling the need for Justice.

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