Saturday, May 06, 2006

How to get more sex when you want it

My research tells me that 9 out of 10 men want more sex than their wives, and the 1 out of 10 who don't are dead.

It's easy to tell when she's not in the mood, because it's most of the time. You can accept that or do something about it. Like changing her mood. Sounds hard, but it's not.

Step 1: Change your approach. Instead of thrusting your crutch lump against her and growling like an animal, use your brains. Think. She's a woman. She is different. She gets aroused in a different way. Men get turned on without much stimulation, women take longer. Most women need some attention and some romance to get in the mood.

Sex is fun, so try starting out just having some fun together. Laughter. A romp. Tickling. A pillow fight. The experts say this can often lead to serious sex.

Stpe 2. Don't be crude. A rough approach can be a turn-off. "Hey babe, look at this. Let's use it." No go. This type of impersonal come-on usually fails.

Step 3. Make her feel wanted. Ie. make her feel you want her, not just her body. Try saying something like: "The warmth of your body and the fragrance of your hair make me go weak at the knees." "Your skin is so soft, I could stroke it forever." "When I wake up beside you in the mornings I want to just fall into your arms."

Step 4. Put in the ground work. Prove to her you think of her often, by bringing her little gifts. You'll be surprised how often this changes her moods.

Step 5. Pay attention to timing. She will have her rhythms. When she's worried or stressed, suggest a back massage or a foot massage. But don't push for sex. Help her with her chores to take the weight off her shoulders. Help her clear the decks. Help her get in the zone. Sometimes you just gotta wait.

Step 6. Focus on full-body love. Women dont want the first touch to be on the breast or the genitals. They want to be stroked all over. A gentle caress on the back or placing you hands around her waist... it pays to know what she finds erotic and romantic.

Step 7. Set the atmosphere. Most women need to feel relaxed to want sex. They don't want to be worried about anything. So take care of it. Make sure it's private. Make sure its relaxed. Make sure she feels secure. Cook a meal. Have candles. Just the two of you. Music she likes. And flowers. Make it memorable. And try to average a romantic 'incident' like this once every month or so. It will carry you though the month and create opportunities for sex.

Step 8. Ask her what puts her in the mood. As you become more intimate she'll open up. She might like taking a long walk, showering together or massage.

Whatever it takes is whatever it takes. If you want sex, you have got to work for it. Like the old song says, "Try a little tenderness."

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